Climategoat: the final nail in the coffin of anthropogenic CRU hacking

Police in Norfolk UK are said to be looking for a goat in the University of East Anglia area.

New surveillance images have emerged, where it was learnt that the hacker who is thought to have broken into the Climatic Research Unit at the UEA, used black magic and turned into a goat after leaking the CRU emails.

A police spokesperson has said: ‘We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat’.

The goat is believed to be running around in the University campus. It is thought to take refuge in the Animal Rights department at night.

'Climategoat' seen wandering near the CRU building

Although belief in witchcraft is not widepread, university authorities suspect the goat to be eating up Freedom of Information (FOI) requests, raw data, raw metadata, NMO restriction files and inquiry submission documents, causing a disruption in their working climate.

When enquired whether fresh research was behind the recent delays in comprehending FOI requests, one official exclaimed in response: “You have got to be kidding me!”, upon conditions of anonymity.

“Unfortunataly climate deniers and skeptics have seized on this series of delays and denials by the UEA to imply a global conspiracy to conceal climate data…”, the official added, “but little do they know it is just the goat”.

In recent weeks, the University has taken a stronger stance favoring withholding climate-related data from members of the public, citing commercial and funding reasons.

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2 comments

  • I know the name of that goat…it’s “Scape”!

  • It’s a government-goat and, obviously, female. We all know that the modern State promotes nannies as well as being capricious. Whenever calls for data are made, the well-trained kids of the CRU will bleat, “haedus, haedus”, the goat to the top of the class.

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