Tagged: Banton Pants

A La Jolla RICO Junta true story

The football coaches, assistant coaches and game strategists were distraught. They had gathered in the most idyllic of resorts in La Jolla for brainstorming.

‘Look, we’ve been playing game after game, not a single win’.

‘Not a win in years’.

Soccer coach Banton Pants stood up. ‘Guys, guys, relax’, he said.

‘In soccer, we used this trick. A player would run straight into the center-forward, collide, fall down injured and cry out loud.’

‘And then..’, cried Namory Goreskes, breathlessly. A football historian by trade, she knew nothing about soccer.

‘What else? ‘The referee would swoop in, pull out the red card and hold it up, the star player would be kicked out. The whole stadium would boo the guy on his way out – for cheating.’

‘We won several matches this way’.

The group went silent. The implications sank in. ‘Wow’, said Goreskes eventually as she clapped slowly. ‘A wonderful idea … such an inspiring template.’

Football_584

‘So … you’re saying, you run in there, right in front of Exxon, crumple violently throwing up all these old documents culled from a local library into the air, and the referee Attorney General shows up and dismisses Exxon?

‘Yeah and you get unlimited downs after that. And lots of money too’ – concluded Pants.

The coaches left La Jolla energized. They decided to write a report on their meeting, specifically and clearly documenting their plan to use the ‘fake injury red card’ learned from soccer to get opponents kicked out of future American football games.

References:

InsideClimate: NY AG Started RICO Planning Before Any InsideClimate Stories Were Released. Katie Brown, Energy In Depth, June 7, 2016

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